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November 5, 2008

i hate exams.

And no, i’m saying this in a way that it’s just annoying that i have to revise and study and all those shit or because i dont get to sleep more, or watch that extra hour of tv.

because to me, they bring more then just that. it’s always that time of the year, that i get so freaked out and scared and helpless. and no matter how much i’ve crammed, i still feel its never going to be enough. what if the exam tests this? or that? shit.

maybe it’s because i’ve failed once, and it was a horrible place that i never want to go there again. So i let my thoughts run wild, trying to come up with the weirdest, hardest, craziest questions that the exam might test. and then i’ll start panicking, and then drive myself crazy and then i’ll sit at the corner of my room and start tearing. i can’t help it.

And how can i possibly not be stressed? i have parents who are without fail telling me to study hard with every phone call, and not let history repeat. i really dont wanna disappoint them, after all the resources and time they’ve spent on me. so tell me, how can i not be stressed?

I’m have another 3 more periods of exams and i don’t know if i would have gone crazy by then. People say schooling is the best years of your life. and you know what, for now, i can’t wait to work, here’s why.

Why can’t I?

October 17, 2008

All I want is a person to talk to, to lean on, to laugh with.

All I want is a friend, who will never make me feel left out.

Is there something wrong with me? Is there something about me that I should change?

I have friends you know, but somehow, the word friends now mean nothing. What’s the point of having them but feeling so lonely? I’ve watched countless of TV shows, Friends, SATC, Grey’s. They seem so perfect, too perfect. meredith will always have christina, carrie will always have samantha, charlotte, miranda. They don’t really exist do they? yeah, I should’ve known that long ago.

time to face reality, get on with life. that’s just too bad for you. to you, some of these things called friends will always be bitches or girls, or just people, just people.

Hello world!

October 17, 2008

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